Chris' reflection on the pilgrimage

After a tragic event in my life about eighteen months ago, I prayed that some good would come out of all the pain and sadness, in changing me as a person, and in improving my relationship with God.  I had thought of many things which needed changing, but was moving ineffectively from one to another and back again. Taking part in this pilgrimage gave me a chance to spend time looking for the right way to progress. Slowly over the days of the pilgrimage a number of things fell into place for me.

The first day’s walking was hard – towards the end I could think only of putting one foot in front of the other, without taking any time to look at what was around me. During evening prayer I could think only of how uncomfortable I was sitting on the floor, and how much I wanted to be in bed, but even so something sank in. Hazel spoke of the difference between things in your head and things in your heart (what things I don’t remember!)

This notice, spotted in a field during the second day’s walk struck me as a parable placed there especially for me: That God decides what to grow in the field of me, and will do what is necessary to ensure that this crop grows well.

On the fourth day of the pilgrimage, I decided to take the short walk option during the afternoon, and went slowly, stopping to look at how beautiful and varied the trees and wild flowers were.  It was during this time that the pilgrimage reached its conclusion for me, as a number of things came together, and moved from my head to my heart.

Before the pilgrimage the verse from Isaiah 30:15 came to me:
This is what the Sovereign Lord,
    the Holy One of Israel, says:
“Only in returning to me
    and resting in me will you be saved.
In quietness and confidence is your strength.
    But you would have none of it. (New Living Translation)

I felt that this was what God had been saying was my problem during the preparation for the pilgrimage, and my parable was the next step.

So my pilgrimage did not result in my knowing the answer, but at least I now know the question: “What does God want to grow in the field of my life?”

It seems a long way to go to discover something which I have known in my head since I became a christian, but I feel much better about it now, and look forward to seeing God working on in my life.